Tuesday, November 29, 2011
#LikeAKobe,Emo^| 10:40 PM;
Be there for me, okay?
Waiting wordlessly for that one very significant message from you. It's been so long that I don't even know what I am waiting for already. But, let's just keep faith and hope it'd be all worth it in the end.
I wonder if you regret anything from the day you decided to freeze up.
I wonder if you miss anything during our time together.
I wonder, if you'd wonder about me the way I wonder about you..
Having such an intense urge to talk and chat to you again, to reminisce about the old past, when I realize I still care a lot about you. But there are limited stuff which I can partake in to distract myself from thinking about you. Now, during the night, its also another reason why I'm more emotional at night, when the sun's down, because that's when I run out of things to distract me from thinking about us, and how it'd might have been better. Now you understand?
Do you regret, not having the chance to read me?
I loved, love and will still continue loving you.
Yours faithfully. <3
Iloveyou.
Monday, November 28, 2011
#LikeAKobe,Emo^| 10:38 PM;
Hi..?
I'm bored, really bored. :/ Missing you like crazy again, I'm feeling it so strongly these days.
Wanting so desperately to chat with you light-heartedly like ever before, wanting to hold your soft and small cuddly hand, wanting to warm them up all over. :/
So.. How're you?
I've been asking this for quite a lot of times. And never once did I mean it to your health alone, I was directing it at a lot of other different factors too, such as, how are you coping with your studies, have you been studying still even during the holidays? How is netball, I've heard it was a straight unbeaten spree of victories. How is you and your family progressing, still as distant as before, or have you guys gotten back closer? The latter would be really good, don't fight with your dad and brother already alright..?
And.. How am I? How am 'I' in your mind? Am 'I' still there in your mind, there in your heart? :/ Or have you gotten over me, someone who you said gave you feelings you've never felt that strongly before, and moved on already? If you did, why isn't your mum stopping the r/s? :/ I'm afraid you'd forget me. Haisz.
Okaythanksbye.
#LikeAKobe,Emo^| 1:56 PM;
There will always and only be room for you in my heart, no one else but you, just like how there is only room for your letters to be kept safely in my wallet.
Anyway, I heard you got back together with your used-to-be-haters buddies Fang Qi & the SotSots. I'm really glad and happy for you, to know you won't be encountering much friendship problems with them anymore. What's more shocking is that I even discovered the terrible fact that you are intending to head on to ITE after your secondary school studies? How can you even do that, damn, it really worries and saddens me a lot.. I have no reason to think and care for you anymore, but even as a friend, its really suffocating to see people and friends enter ITE; if you don't know, I'll tell you why, those immoral people in there are really gonna give you hell without you knowing it. Girls become sluts in there, boys become failures. There's not much future if you are planning to enter the ITE without changing your attitude towards education, I'm being serious. Please think it through, oh my god :/ What's more, you may get cheated so easily.. *Sighs* Why am I so concerned anyway? *Sighs* I'm really worried. Damn, dear Lord up there, if you can hear me, please, please, that'd be my birthday wish, for her not to ever enter ITE, and have her life literally ruined. I'd give her up, just for that, just for her studies to flourish and her life to go smoothly. Just as long as you don't enter ITE, with your character, with your attitude, trouble will find you easily if you are in there. And I'M NOT JOKING. Some of my friends have shared with me their experiences in ITEs, and trust me, all of it wasn't something to be glorious and wasn't positive at all. Plus, you're not that mature yet, your thinking is still kinda naive, you won't be able to survive in there without being cheated. People tell me, it's good to have you fall at some times, because that is the only way to ensure that you really learn from your lessons. My friends, some of them do tell me that, to take my eyes off you, and take my attention off you, to have you suffer by yourself so that you will wise up in future. But I don't think I really can handle that, I've decided, if you really wanna make it to such extremes, I'd be game to guard and protect you through these two years. I don't care. This may sound crazy don't it? But it's definitely not going to be any more crazy than the people in ITE. I just hope I'd put off NS long enough to see you through these two years. Haishhh~ Omg.. Lina! Don't you ever drop to ITE I'm warning you. Fuck. I'd literally slaughter anyone who dares to play with you.
*deep sigh* You never fail to worry me.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
#LikeAKobe,Emo^| 10:54 PM;
#LikeAKobe,Emo^| 10:49 PM;
"Zhi Hong
=98621720
I love you!!! :D ^^
Don't get shocked :O"
First note I ever received from a girl. It was really sweet, still remember I smiled all the way back home after sending you home that day; even took the note from you after I forgot to give you my English assessments for you to refer and browse through in preparation for your exams, and had to rush all the way back to deliver it to you personally. You told me you had something for me too, and it was this, very first, love letter from a girl. *heartwarming, even till now*
#LikeAKobe,Emo^| 10:35 PM;
Okay I just forgotten a bunch of stuff I wanted to write down earlier. -.- Shag.
#LikeAKobe,Emo^| 10:13 PM;
So overcome with jealousy and burning curiosity these days. It seems people do change don't they? Girls. *Tskk~* Nevertheless, I'm glad it appears that you are getting friendly again with your once-hated-to-the-core friends (Madeline, Fang Qi & Charmaine). It's really funny the way how human relations work, friends, couples, buddies, BFFs, all able to change in a blink of an eye.
Anyway, today was a pretty normal day unlike no others. Even though it marked my full 17 years of life so far, it hasn't any positive impact on me, yet. Haha. Funny :S
So, got asked out with my band of buddies, Shawn, Murphy, Maurice, Woo Tha & Glenden for a must-have celebrations at Swensen's in Junction 8, Bishan. Well, to be honest, haha, I went for the sake of my friends, don't want them to all to be acquainted with my friend disappointment anytime too soon on such a happy event. So in the end, had quite a feast at the restaurant, ate pizzas, the typical Fish'N'Chips and some dipper fries. Was pretty awesome, having friends to remember it, to want to celebrate it with me. I was pretty much cheered up, but still, the climax came when I saw a certain text pop-up full of birthday wishes. Was really awesome, that's the 1/??????? percent when my hopes actually paid off, and it was during that particular moment; the others were busy chattering away about their Heroes of Newerth strategic gameplay, so I took the chance to quietly grin over and over again at the very text. ;) Finally felt one genuine smile form on my lips, even so, I tried to initiate the conversation.. and (I already told you it's 1/??????? chances that my hopes will pay off, so it's kinda typical) as per usual, you ended it in a nice and polite way, and I didn't want to probe you too much, in case you got irritated. Many a time, I wonder, what is it that prevents me from flaring up at you and shooting you non-stop with the so-many-questions-buzzing-around-in-my-head, I guess I can only feel it, not unravel it.
Why am I so pathetic, having to even think about your feelings every time that I unwittingly neglected my own?
Haisz, it's really sad now that I think back about it, because I just received a terrible shock; Wei Jie told me he actually asked you to come out and join me in my celebrations. -.- Omfg.. Once again, a million questions pop up. G_G I wonder how much thoughts and questions can the human brain handle before it fails to function?
Anyway, are you getting back with Oliver now? It seems so you know, haisz, your post "its funny when you smile at your phone because the person that you always want to talk to texted you first~"
and your likes on his bloody crap thing. -.- Idk why I'm so fucking paranoid. So fucking upset over this kind of minor details. Zzzzzzz. Seriously. -.- If you wanna move on, can you like please inform me beforehand so I can sort out my fucked-up thoughts?
#LikeAKobe,Emo^| 9:47 PM;
[Kyuhyun] Geureul itji motaeseo apahanayo
Geudaega isseul jariga yeogin aningayo
[Jay] Nareul wihan georamyeon chameul pillyo eobtjyo
Eonjengan kkeutnabeoril teni
[Jonghyun] Nae sarangi jejariro oji motago
Heullin nunmulmankeum meolli ganeyo
[Jino] Naneun ijeoya hajyo geudae neomu geuriwo
Nareul apeuge haljineun mollado ijeoyo
[Jonghyun] Babo gateun naran geol geudaen anayo
Gaseumi jjijeojineunde useumman naojyo
[Jino] Eonjekkajirado nan gidaryeo nae nunmul gamchumyeo
Naege doraogin haneun geongayo
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/sm_the_ballad/miss_you.html ]
[Kyuhyun] Nae sarangi jejariro oji motago
Heullin nunmulmankeum meolli ganeyo
[Jay] Naneun ijeoya hajyo geudae neomu geuriwo
Nareul apeuge haljineun mollado ijeoyo
([Jay] Ijeoyo)
[Jino] Ijeoya haneun geon jiwoya haneun geon
[Jonghyun] Naegen neomuna eoryeoun irijyo
[Kyuhyun] Nae sarangi jejariro oji motago
Heullin nunmulmankeum meolli ganeyo
[Jonghyun] Naneun ijeoya hajyo geudae neomu geuriwo
Nareul apeuge haljineun mollado ijeoyo ([Jino] Ijeoyo)
[Kyuhyun] Nae maeumi jejariro ojil anhayo ([Jay] Ojil anhayo)
Michin deusi gyesok nunmulman najyo
[Jay] Naneun andwaena bwayo ([Kyuhyun] Andwaena bwayo)
[Jonghyun] Geudael itneundaneun geon ([Jino] Itneundaneun geon)
[Kyuhyun]Geunyang jukgo sipeodo
[All] Geudaeui sarang noheul su eobseo
[Kyuhyun] Na salgo itjyo
More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/sm_the_ballad/#share
#LikeAKobe,Emo^| 1:02 PM;
27th November 2011, my birthday?
But still, I don't feel any enthusiasm or exceptional excitement arising in me, because there's nothing to look forward to, not without you there. :/ I'm really serious, why did you have to leave? I'm damn jealous and curious, what are you doing now..?
How long has it been? 5 weeks and a few days has passed since we broke up. Yeah it'd did, fast right? Whereas I have to wake up, unwillingly hope and finally get crushed by severe disappointment everyday, stay up late into the night every night just to see you online, just to see your posts; that's because this is the only way, I can feel connected to you in any possible way now.
You used to confess to me when you can't take it anymore, you used to tell me. But now, I wonder, who would be there for me now when I need them most? I need you. You never knew didn't you? Now, 'hope' itself has already familiarized itself with my heart, with its usual aches whenever my hopes rise.. to fall in the end.
Now, it's just every unmade day passing by for me, because you are not there to complete it. :/ Am I being gluey now..? This is just one of those times it seem, when important days come by and I hope for you to spend it with me. Why did you have to come and find me, when you were intending to leave later? Fuck it!
Around 6 weeks ago, you sent me this message, just before the day we got together, the day when you were totally moodswinging like nobody's business :/
"It's okay, I can give up. I can't take it anymore, I'm feeling so upset, jealous and angry. Why must you be the one guy to make me feel all this? You made me feel it so strongly like nothing ever before :/ Why must it be you who will give me this feeling? I really can't take it anymore. Haishh~ It's so frustrating you know? I also don't know why I will feel this way, but.. nvm. It's useless anyway. Nights. :)"
Now what? You left so abruptly, you changed so quickly, you tore up my heart just like kids tear up paper, that easily and ruthlessly.
Now it's my turn I suppose. But what can I say?
That I still love you..? That I miss you really so much? That.. can we get back together?
I haven't any more courage to spit it up and say things out.
You smashed all of it when you left.
#LikeAKobe,Emo^| 12:41 PM;
Bella : "But I'm not saying goodbye."
Edward : "Don't you see? That's what proves me right. I care the most, because if I can do it.. If leaving is the right thing to do, then I'll hurt myself to keep from hurting you, to keep you safe."
Bella : "And you don't think I would do the same?" *glares*
Edward : "You'd.. never have to make the choice."
And I.. am left speechless with this particular paragraph. Re-browsing through the Twilight Saga, remembering the times we used to have, the fun we used to share. I can't help but wonder if I'm being really gluey now, even till now.
#LikeAKobe,Emo^| 12:29 PM;
Thursday, November 24, 2011
#LikeAKobe,Emo^| 11:38 PM;
This song is really meaningful and touching. Just the lyrics and rhythm alone is enough to snuff one to tears. Enjoy it people.
#LikeAKobe,Emo^| 11:34 PM;
Tell me, how much can I still feel you so, and miss you so?
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
#LikeAKobe,Emo^| 11:54 PM;
Originally named in chinese, "那些年，我们一起追的女孩“, or better known as "You are the Apple of my Eye", is a movie based on a true story experienced by the pretty well-known director Giddens, 九把刀.
It is a movie about a bunch of teenagers who stood pretty closely together during their teenage years in their secondary years. Unlike us Singaporeans, it was a pretty long span of time together, six years it were. Together, they experienced weals and woes, played and studies together. All seven of them all, liked the honor student, Shen Jia-Yee and went on to try to catch her eye with different ways. However, the true relationship began when Chin-Tung and Jia-Yee underwent a bet which allowed them to study together while striving to the better of each, with whoever failing having to do the bidding of the other person. As time went by, Chin-Tung and Jia-Yee fell in deep love with each other. However, it was time for them to part and go their separate ways after graduating from secondary school. Nonetheless, distance did not pose a problem to the lovebirds, who went on a date that following Christmas in Taipei. Sadly, the trauma came when Chin-Tung organized a fighting bout in his college as an attempt to show off his mightiness to Jia-Yee. However, it went awry; Jia-Yee was saddened by Chin-Tung's immaturity and quarreled with him after the bout, which resulted in the two of them breaking up, and also losing contact with each other in the process. Two years later, Chin-Tung called Jia-Yee to inquire about her welfare after an earthquake hit Taiwan, with the epicenter located in Taipei, where Jia-Yee is residing at in her University of Education. The two reminisced about their past that very night, and had a long and loving talk the whole night. Not long after, each and every one of the clique went off to their own careers, paving the road to their future, while Chin-Tung picks up writing as a hobby in his university. Years later, in 2004, Chia-Yi calls Ching-Teng to tell him that she is getting married. All of her old friends gather at the wedding, joking about trying to embarrass the groom. Nevertheless, they are finally surprised that their past emotions have transformed into a profound friendship and ever calmness in their hearts. Ching-Teng also starts to write a web novel about his experiences with Chia-Yi..
As quoted from the movie, "当你真的真的喜欢一个人的时候。。是根本不可能真心的祝福她新婚快乐的。。”
。。。
““但是，最后，当我看到她的时候，我错了。当你真的真的喜欢一个人的时候，当她被人爱，被人疼，你都会为她感到快乐，感到开心的。”
This movie is so.. so very very touching. It took me a lot of self-control to stop myself from breaking down halfway throughout the movie, when Chin-Tung missed out on Jia-Yee in the end, and lost her.. forever. Happy times are just too short. I really pity Chin-Tung, it must feel so sad to see the one you really love a lot, leaving you and going for another person. If I were Chin-Tung, I would really really be so.. heartbroken. I nearly cried, seriously. All the three times I watched it, it has never yet failed to make me emotional. How great would it be, if both of them ended up together.
My personal love life is just like Chin-Tung, only that.. it wasn't that dramatic. But yet nevertheless, I lost my first true love, L***, not to anybody, but to myself. I lost her after a short span of four days. Maybe it's just like how the Jia-Yee said in the movie, relationships lose their magic when it starts, but not when it is just a crush. Still, I miss her a lot. Watching this movie is only another way for me to express my longing for her. I can't say it out, but I really really miss her a lot. If only, she can come back to me.. It was just like how Chin-Tung felt in the movie when Jia-Yee broke up with him, the feeling when nothing could cheer him up, when he was reduced to nothing, when his teenage childhood was utterly meaningless out of a sudden, when life seemed so bleak and dark. This is why I absolutely adore Chin-Tung for being so courageous and brave, to withstand all of it and bottle it up.. something which I can never, ever, accomplish.. Maybe I don't love her as much as he did to Jia-Yee, but I do know, I really miss her..